Yugi's Dream
by Virgin Angel of Darkness
Summary: Comedey and randomness run hand in hand in this tale of love, honesty and integrity, featuring some boy love, a few celebrity appearances or two (including one by myself) so Read, Review and Enjoy, for I will review anyone if they review me.
1. The dream of a Yugi

Ok well this is like my first fan fic for anything and for Yu-gi-oh my favourite characters are of course Honda, Mitsubishi and Toyota!

Yugi's Dream -

Yugi smiled as the gentle summer rays battered his skin, his was lying on the beach, the waves were lapping at his feet, and he looked over at the smiling face of Anzu. Her brown shoulder-length hair was flapping, like a tent that wasn't pegged properly, in the cool breeze. A smile spread across her face, she spoke.

"Yugi, my love, let's go back to the beach house and shag,"

Yugi smiled and nodded. He slipped his hand in to hers and they walked towards the house. Their bare feet padded across the harsh tar seal of the road. It was slightly warm, like walking on hot coals except only slightly warm coals.

They were too well wrapped in a loving aura to hear the bus, they didn't see it until it was to late. It hit Anzu with a rather sexual thud, she flew a few feet and landed face down. But the bus did not stop, it ran her over, her bones crunched under the wheels, her flesh ripped open with a sound not unlike someone who was really angry tearing paper, her blood splattered Yugi. He could taste it on his lips.

"Mm... salty," he said, lapping up the blood which was thrown on him.

The bus stopped still on her dead and bloodied body.

"Is she dead yet?" Bakura said, stepping from the bus.

"Yes, my one true love, whose beauty grows and blossoms with everyday you are in my arms!" Called Yugi

They embraced; Bakura could taste the saltiness of Anzu's blood on Yugi's lips, it was red like ketchup, but it didn't taste like ketchup, but Bakura wouldn't mind if he had it on his hamburgers instead of ketchup.

Then Yugi woke up.

He was bathed in a cold sweat, his hair lacking its usual over the top, gravity-defying starfish on crack shape, and was matted against his head. He breathed in deeply trying to find his second chakra, his hand brushed between his legs, he had found it. He looked around his dimly lit room; his Millennium Puzzle was on the shelf next to his Blue Eyes White dragon Puzzle and his New Edition Monopoly. _I have to play that sometime _he thought making a mental note.

Then he pondered his dream. What could it mean, he and Anzu had been going out for several weeks, they'd had a joyous and happy relationship. Yugi had never had feelings for Bakura, he wasn't gay, was he? _Well there was that time I got drunk on New Years…_he thought, remembering how he woke up naked beside Bakura, with an aching anus, _but that was just friendship, wasn't it?_

"Speaking of Friendship," Anzu Interrupted

Yugi looked at her quizzically, where did she come from?

"We had a meeting of the friendship love truth honesty happiness and toast guild last night," she beamed

"What the fuck?" said Yugi "Where did you come from?"

"Oh, I came over last night, but the door was locked. It took me half the night to jimmy it. Then I cooked you breakfast and did your laundry," she smiled.

"cough stalker cough" Yugi spluttered

"What?" ask Anzu, her eye twitching.

"Oh nothing," said Yugi "Just a little cold,"

"Come on Yugi, I want to ride you like pony" Anzu said. Yugi remembered that time they had road Shetland ponies at a circus, then the ponies died due to the crushing bulk of Yugi's hair.

"N.. not today," Yugi spluttered resisting Anzu's grasp.

"But Yugi" she moaned "We haven't in ages,"

"Shut the fuck up Anzu, I look like I'm 12 okay! It's just not right,"

"Oh okay," said Anzu, dumbly. "Let's go hang with the gang and play cards!"

"Ok." Said Yugi "Just let me change and have a shower"

After Yugi had showered and applied the liberal amounts of styling gel needed to maintain his porcupine styles he went back in to his room with just a towel wrapped around him, the towel had Ash from Pokémon on it, _Ash is hot_ hethought. He could hear a muffled voice from the bookshelf…

"My New Edition Monopoly wants to talk?" he asked to no one in particular

Then a voice from behind said

"Haha, you moron, it's your puzzle!"

Yugi spun around, to see the face of Bakura. His silvery white hair glistened in the soft lighting of his room, the soft white tone of his skin and his big blue eyes made Yugi weak at the knees.

"B..bakura?" Yugi stammered, like a cheeky monkey.

"No," The loving face of Bakura swirled and changed to that of Anzu. Her face and eyes were stern "What's going on?"

"Um.. well uh." Yugi stammered

"You called me Bakura, how insulting, I have much more body tone then him" Anzu said pouting

"Yeah, How could you do that to her," Said Casper the Friendly Ghost as he glided through the room

"I'm sorry Anzu muffin cakes, sugar lumps, with your bountiful bouncing bosom, that remind me of mangoes on a gentle summer morning, gently caressing the fabric of your shirt." Replied Yugi

"Oh, Yugi" Anzu gushed "You know how to make a boy/girl feel like a real woman."

Yugi blushed, "Come on, I vaguely remember a farmyard animal you wanted to ride me like."

Anzu giggled as she pushed Yugi down on the bed.

* * *

DOWNSTAIRS

* * *

Serenity and Grandpa were downstairs in the games shop. They were checking out each other, and swapping cards. There was a banging noise from the ceiling.

"What's that?" Serenity asked, pointing to the roof.

"Oh Anzu and Yugi are humping again." Grandpa said looking at his deck "I'll trade you my One Eyed Asian Dragon, for your Water Pixie of Orgasms."

"What's humping?" asked Serenity, changing the subject, she didn't want to trade her Pixie but couldn't face the temptation of a one-eyed dragon.

"It's like fucking," Grandpa said "So what about the trade?"

Serenity hesitated at first but then held out her card. Then suddenly there was a huge bang, (no not the kind of bang that Yugi and Anzu were doing, but a different kind of bang). Serenity jumped back as the bed fell through the roof and hit Grandpa, with a sickly crushing noise. His cards scattered everywhere. Serenity using her initiative grabbed all his cards and shoved them in to her pockets.

Yugi and Anzu were naked on the bed, they were covered in dust and debris from the roof.

"Ow" muttered Grandpa as his spirit floated to heaven.

Serenity immediately began singing "Me against the Music" Anzu joined in taking the part of Madonna.

Madonna was not pleased; she used her cane to bitch-slap Anzu. Anzu fell backwards and spat a tooth from her bloodied mouth. Anzu jumped up in a fighing stance.

"Yeah you wanna go?" Taunted Madonna.

Anzu lunged at her, but Madonna dodged using her elite superstar skills. She then proceeded to crack Anzu over the head with her new Gucci boots, which retail for US$799.99.

Yugi watched this scene with enjoyment; he again found his second chakra to be most helpful.

As Serenity finished singing, Madonna disappeared.

Anzu did not get up.

Yugi looked at Anzu's naked and bloodied body. It lay as lifeless as a peapod, well a peapod that was no longer attached to a peapod plant. _My dream was pretty correct, but there was no bus _Yugi thought to himself just as a bus crashed in to the shop sending shards of glass and concrete through out the store.

One particularly big piece of concrete hit Serenity. She died. 

Yugi shed a tear for her, it wasn't a real tear, it was a tear without emotion, without compassion, without feeling. It was like a raindrop tear, it was needed to help the plants grow and thrive and become big plants. It was a necessary tear.

Just then the bus door whooshed open and Gregory the American bus driver, stepped out.

"Shit," he muttered "That's the third time this week."

Then several Asian tourists stepped of the bus.

"O dead body!" one exclaimed, and immediately began clicking his camera

The tourist then took several rolls of film's worth of photographs, and then walked out of the destroyed game shop.

Yugi then got off the bed and walked over to Serenity. He took all her cards, and the ones she blacked off Grandpa. He tried to shove them in his pockets but realized he was naked.

He was too lazy to walk back upstairs to get some pants so he decided to go to town and buy a new pair.

He walked over the debris of the game shop wall, and in to the sunlight.

"Yugi!" said a voice from behind.

Yugi turned to see that annoying dice monsters kid, who my assistant recently informed me, is called Otagi.

"What's up Yugi, G?" He asked then glanced at Yugi's second chakra "Apart from that" he said winking.

"Oh" said Yugi blushing "I forgot I was naked"

"That's okay" said Otagi "We all forget to put our clothes on once in a while. Here, take my scarf." He reached behind him and pulled a scarf, like magic, from his anus.

"Thanks!" said Yugi, wrapping it around his neck. It immediately warmed his cold body.

"This is the loveliest pink, white and sticky poo brown scarf I've ever had! But now I must go, I'm going to buy pants."

They waved each other goodbye, then SHABANG Yugi walked into Officer Jenny.

"Oh, I'm so sorry" he said, bending down to help her pick up the tiara she'd dropped.

"It's ok lad" she said, then she gave him the once over. "You seem to be missing a few articles of clothing," she said

Yugi blushed.

"Here," she said, handing him the tiara. "It's only worth 3456 billion Yen but you need it more than the Museum of Priceless Items.

"Thanks officer" he said placing the tiara on his supple head. He continued to walk down the street to the pant store.

As he was walking he caught sight of Mai.

"Hey Mai," he called out to her.

"Hi Yugi, I'm in a rush, but have this" she said removing her skirt and chucking it at him, and then she continued down the street. He watched as her petite ass bounced in her Teletubbies thong.

He pulled on the skirt and continued. It was a little more restrictive than his skirts, but he would manage. Once he reached the pants shop he realized he didn't need pants anymore.

"I will walk to Bakura's house" he said to a homeless man, who spat at him.

Yugi hailed a taxi then jumped in. He was on his way.

The car rumbled and bumbled along the road, Yugi bounced up and down in the back seat. It was very reminiscent of his time spent with Anzu. He smiled as her remembered her smiling face and her mutt brown hair. The memories, the memories, the memories live on.

CRASH! BANG (no for the last time not that kind of bang!) SPLAT!

A helicopter landed on the roof of the car. Yugi jumped out of the taxi before the driver would demand the customary sexual favors for his ride. The helicopter had a big KAIBA CORP sign on the side.

"Bloody Kaiba!" Yugi yelled "You can't park your helicopter anywhere you know!"

"I'm not here to chat Yugi, but Officer Jenny told me you were naked and I thought I'd bring you something,"

Kaiba's arm chucked something from the window as his helicopter flew off. Yugi caught the item. It was cat collar. _It's got nothing on my dog collar _thought Yugi _but it'll do. _As soon as he attacked the collar, the fleas in his hair immediately leaped out. It also had a little bell on the front. It reminded him of the time him and Quasimodo rang the Christmas bells last winter in Paris.

He was only a few blocks from Bakura's place.

He continued his trek along the pavement. He pretended he was an adventurer, like his idol Lara Croft: Tomb Raider. Indiana Jones had nothing on her. He remembered the time him and Honda had argued for hours on end who was better, Lara's tits won it for her.

Then all of a sudden he was dragged in to an alleyway by a small crinkled, greasy, smudge-ridden naked old man.

"Guess what may name is" he hissed "And I won't man-prison-rape you,"

Yugi pondered _do I really want to guess his name? _he asked himself. Then he immediately shook off that feeling _Of course I want to answer him!_

"You have three tries," said the creepy little goblin man.

"Timmy?" Yugi queried.

"No, you have 2 more tries…" said the man

"Umm.." Yugi thought hard, this situation seemed vaguely familiar.

"Virginia?" Yugi said.

"Wrong again," cackled the man

At that moment a voice said "Rumplestiltskin, honey. It is dinner time; I hope you aren't in the alley threatening to rape people again!"

"Aww mom!" the little man moaned "Sorry about this. Come back tomorrow, you still have one guess!"

Yugi just shook his head and left.

Then he arrived at Bakura's house. He was really thirsty and his feet hurt. So he was hoping for some ginseng tea and a foot massage.

Yugi opened Bakura's gate, and walked through the pristine gardens. The pavers of the path were warmed slightly by the sun and a butterfly fluttered placidly across the yard.

In the background a song was playing, the lyrics flowed gently through the wind, seemingly blending with the environment.

Yugi took a deep breath. Stretched out his hand and knocked on the door. Tap, Tap, Tap. Three knocks all so similar, yet so different. Each with its own purpose, it's own dreams and ambitions. They were unique knocks.

The door opened, and Yugi could see the smiling face of an old woman.

"Umm is this Bakura's?" he asked

"No love," replied the old woman "He lives one door over." Then she shut the door

"Holy shit it freaked me out when that crazy old bat opened the door!" he said to himself

Then the door flew open and the old lady reappeared carrying a long French bread stick. She held it like a weapon.

"What you say fool?" she asked spitting out her chewing tobacco.

Before Yugi replied she swung the bread and it hit Yugi in the face.

He got owned.

Rubbing his throbbing head he stepped through the garden, and out the gate and on to the sidewalk.

He glanced at the letterbox, No. 96.

"Oh duh!" Yugi Muttered "Bakura is at number 69."

He continued down the street,

Looking at the people he might meet.

No one stopped to say hello

Except for Dipsy, Laa Laa and Po,

Yugi looked down that road

Wait a second that's a toad

Yugi reached Bakuras gate

He walked on through before too late.

takes a bow

Yugi stepped on to the path, his whole body quivering with anticipation, excitement and the heroin he injected several minutes earlier while I wrote the song/poem.

He pressed the doorbell, and waited several minutes. No one answered, then Yugi noticed the huge DOORBELL OUT OF ORDER sign hanging on the door. So instead he knocked.

As soon as his hand touched the smooth wood, the door flung open and revealing the shining face of Bakura.

Sweat ran down his face, his hair was limp and lifeless, he was dressed only in a badly closed robe, and Yugi caught a glimpse of his sausage platter.

"Hey, Yug (like it rhymes with Moog, not jug okay!)" Bakura said smiling "I hate to be rude but I'm kinda in the middle of something,"

"What?" Yugi asked dimwittedly "Maybe I can help,"

"Um that's okay, Yug (again rhymes with Moog not jug)"

"No I'll be no problem" Yugi said pushing open the door.

Yugi looked around the room, it was Ash from Pokémon. He was buck naked.

"Ash! What are you doing here" Yugi screamed

"Yugi, it's not what it seems!" Ash screamed back.

"It's exactly what it seems." Called Yugi "You're playing my New Edition Monopoly without me!"

"Umm yea…" Bakura said, his faced scrunched up like a freshly snotted tissue. "You could say that."

"I would love to join in, but I don't want to make you have to start again. So, goodbye!" Yugi said walking out.

As soon as Yugi's foot touched outside, a strange feeling ran through him. It was kinda like dying except Yugi had never died so it could possibly not be like dying although he had heard from his aunties cousins sister that dying was a very similar feeling to what Yugi was feeling although Yugi did not know what he was feeling (take a breath) as he has never felt it before so it could not be like dying but he had heard from his aunties cousins sister that dying was a very similar feeling to what Yugi was feeling although Yugi did not know what he was feeling (take a breath) as he has never felt it before so it could not be like dying but he had heard from his aunties cousins sister that dying…

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" A voice in his head yelled.

Yugi was knocked back in to sensuousness. It all clicked, like one of those pens that you click to make them work. Bakura was humping Ash!

Yugi pushed open the door, and saw them together.

"I HATE YOU!" Yugi shouted, tears streaming down his face.

Yugi picked up an umbrella and waved it like a sword.

"I'm gonna fucken kill you both!" Yugi screamed in a rage.

He thrust at Ash with the umbrella but he missed. Ash leapt towards his bag and grabbed a small red and white ball.

"I choose you, PIKACHU!" he yelled and threw the ball. A small yellow rat-like thing smoking a cigarette appeared from the ball, He had heavy bags under his eyes and his facial figures were wrinkled and saggy.

The rat spoke in a heavy New York accent. "What you think you doing, eh?"

Then it jumped back in to the ball.

Yugi then whipped out his dueling deck; "I'll place this card in attack mode" he called out throwing the card at Ash, it bounced off his hard chiseled eleven year old chest. He giggled like an Asian school girl on crack cocaine. 

Yugi lunged again with the umbrella and it pierced Ash's heart. Blood spurted everywhere like red paint that was actually blood.

Yugi looked at Bakura, they embraced, and Bakura could taste Ash's blood on Yugi's lips.

Then Yugi Woke Up.

The End.

OMG!!!!!1!!!!threehundredandseven!! I bet you never saw that cumming!! Please read and review, I want to know what you, the people, think of my story!!


	2. Shinniwawa's going to eat my babies!

W00t well one person reviewed me so obviously I had to write a second installment.

* * *

Yugi sat up in bed, sweat trickled from his forehead,

"Nurse, Wipe my brow!" Yugi commanded.

An arm reached over and wiped Yugi's forehead with a cloth. Yugi looked over to see the face of Bakura, in his bed.

"Bakura what the.." Yugi started, then he thought to himself _This__ must be another dream, I better make use of it while I can._

"Oh Bakura" Yugi exclaimed, and they snogged, it was good but lacked the saltiness of blood that Bakura really liked in a snog.

"Wow, Yugi. How forward of you!" Bakura beamed.

"Hush my little rump steak" said Yugi pressing his finger to Bakura's lips, "let us shag like two donkeys, who escaped from the farm and ran in to the street. A truck came along the road, it tried to swerve to avoid the donkeys but it toppled and its cargo spilled like small blue ants on the road. The cargo was pills of Viagra™ and we are like those donkey's we ate the pills and now we're really really randy"

Bakura looked at Yugi, puzzled.

Yugi sighed.

"Let's just hump."

* * *

DOWNSTAIRS

* * *

Serenity and Grandpa were downstairs with Anzu, they were checking each other out and playing with their cards.

Serenity gently petted the One-Eyed Asian dragon.

There was a thumping noise from the ceiling.

"What's that noise, Grandpa?" Asked Serenity, pointing upwards.

"It's just Yugi and Anzu humping." Grandpa replied.

"What's hu.."

"WHAT!" Interruped Anzu "I'm down here!"

Grandpa's face contorted in to a confuzzled look "Well then who's up there?"

"Bakura." Said Serenity, "I'll trade you my Kuriboh for your Winged Dragon of Ra."

"BAKURA!" Exclaimed Grandpa as he absent mindedly handed over his really super rare Egyptian god card.

"We have to go up there!" Screeched Anzu, "that's my man!"

Grandpa and Anzu ran up the stairs.

Serenity quickly snatched up Grandpa and Anzu's cards and scuttled out of the game shop.

Grandpa and Anzu reached Yugi's door, it was vibrating immensely. Anzu reminisced the times when she was the one causing those vibrations, tehehe.

"The doors locked!" Yelled Grandpa trying to pull open the door.

"I'll kick it down" said Anzu

She jumped and kicked the door, it flew across the room and hit the wall, bounced off and smacked Anzu in the noggin.

"Shit," muttered Grandpa "This is the closet. Yugi's room is one door over."

* * *

Back in the Room

* * *

"Ow!" screamed Yugi, "Wrong Hole!"

* * *

Back with Grandpa and Anzu and Toyota.

* * *

"Uhgmsh," muttered the semi-conscious Anzu.

"Help me hold her up," Grandpa said to Toyota.

"Okay!" replied Toyota slipping his hand up Anzu's top

"Oi, save that for when she's fully unconscious okay!"

Toyota nodded and they dragged her to Yugi's door. It opened easily.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO etc…" screamed Grandpa as he witnessed the horrific scene.

Toyota quickly snatched up the camera and started snapping for his private collection.

Bakura and Yugi stopped and Bakura leapt off the bed pulling off the doona (lol that word soooo fucked up, bloody Australians.) to cover himself exposing Yugi.

"Yugi what the fuck are you doing," screamed the recently conscious Anzu.

"Aww don't be such a stiff Anzie Baby, you can join in too!" said Yugi.

Anzu's face went the colour of fresh canned beetroot. Like you know that really soggy stuff, that tastes like ass, not that I know what ass tastes like although I have heard it's rather like beetroot, but kinda pooey, kinda pooey.

Yugi again found his second chakra.

"Yugi, I'm sorry," said Grandpa, cocking his shotgun "But this is for your own good."

He aimed the gun at Yugi and squeezed the trigger.

"Fuck You!" screamed Yugi and threw his puzzle at Grandpa, it clunked him on the head and he fell to the ground with a non-sexual thump.

"If any of you other fuckers are going to ruin my good good shagging Bakura dream then I'll kill you too!"

"Dream?" Said Bakura, Anzu, Toyota and A Fish Named Wanda simultaneously.

But Yugi was not listening. He was too busy playing with his New Edition Monopoly to notice.

"Ka… mee…. Ha …. meee…. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Screamed Anzu charging up her energy blast.

"Yugi use Thunder Bolt!" screamed Bakura dropping the doona and exposing little Bakura, and when I mean little I mean fucken tiny, it's like crack out the microscope boys.

"YU… GA…. CHUUUU!" shouted Yugi, clenching his fists and anus and unleashing a devastating electrical attack.

Anzu, fell to the ground, char grilled styles.

"Mmm Anzu Barbeque" muttered Mitsubishi, who had flown in on her one winged Pegasus named Hyundai.

Yugi was getting frustrated, he decided he needed pants, in his last dream that was really fun.

He ran past Mitsubishi and out the door, Yugi didn't like this dream.

He went outside the games shop and in to the street, from above he heard the shouts of Bakura "Yugi wait for me!"

Bakura leapt from the window and glided gently to the ground, now fully clothed.

"Let's go get pants!" Said Yugi, jovially

"Umm Yug ( like Moog not jug), aren't you forgetting something?"

"Oh of course!" Said Yugi running back in to the game shop, "I forgot my wallet!"

He returned moments later clutching a small leather wallet, which had his condoms and money in it, he called it Jimmy.

Bakura just shrugged and let Yugi walk in front of him so he could watch his vivacious ass bounce in the morning sunlight.

"It's RAAAAAAAAAINNING men, hallelujah it's raining men, amen!" Sang Yugi as he skipped down the street, boldly showing off his second chakra.

Thunder cracked overhead, a down pour was about to begin.

Men began to fall from the sky as people began calling the police, trying to get Yugi arrested for indecent exposure.

_Humidity's rising  
__Barometer's getting low  
__According to all sources,  
__The street's the place to go._

Yugi looked around; Humidity was taking the glass elevator up the side of the Microsoft™ offices. Barometer was sinking to the ground in pain. Yugi bent over and picked up a newspaper, the headline read "Go to Streets", Yugi looked around and saw Karen Soho in the distance

"Go to the streets, everyone" she yelled.

_'__Cos__ tonight for the first time  
__At just about half past ten  
__For the first time in history  
__It's gonna start raining men_

The clock tower struck half ten, it was suddenly night.

"Whoa.." said Yugi "Me and Bakura must've been shagging for ages!."

A few blocks away, students from Konichiwa My Bra Highschool sat in history class, they were being held in for being naughty, naughty children. They need to be spanked…. drool

_It's raining men  
__Hallelujah it's raining men  
__Amen  
__It's raining men  
__Hallelujah it's raping men  
__Amen_

Men began to fall from the sky, their naked bodies hitting the ground with a mixture of sexual and non-sexual thumps.

A priest exited the nearby Atheist church, and began to bless the dead bodies.

Then god passed wisdom on the earth and the word of men was law.

Amen

_I'm gonna go out  
__I'm gonna let myself get  
__Absolutely soaking wet!_

Yugi stepped out from under the umbrella, a man fell from the sky and found himself skewered on top of it.

"I'd hate to be the bitch that would clean that up" said Yugi

Yugi bathed in the bodies of the men falling from the sky, he bathed so hard his second chakra nearly fell off.

_Every Specimen  
__Tall, blond, dark and mean  
__Rough and tough and strong and lean_

Yugi was amazed at all the different shapes and sizes of hot men. Well most of them were hot except for a certain obese man named Larry who was sandwiched pancake styles to the pavement, it was kind of repulsive. Yugi would've retched but a hot tasty piece of juicy man walked past, his name was Tony.

_God bless Mother Nature  
__She's a single women too _(well I would think she was either married to father time or father sky, maybe a threesome isn't considered marriage?)  
_She took on a heaven _(obviously her and father sky had a bit of a spat then, that might explain her newly attained single status)  
_And she did what she had to do  
__She taught every angel  
__To rearrange the sky _(that must be messy, bloody angels)  
_So that each and every woman _(gays aren't event represented in this song, disgusting.)  
_Could find the perfect guy _(what if they were lesbians okay, not everyone wants the penis!)

Etc. Etc..

Yugi stopped singing and the chaos juddered to a halt.

All of a sudden he felt the cold harsh touch of a beige painted fingernail on his bare naked skin.

He spun to be confronted by Foxxy Cleopatra.

"Yugi sugar, you're under arrest." She said snapping her fingers in front of her face "'Cos I'm Foxxy Cleopatra and I'm a whole lot of woman!" she said loudly then quietly she muttered "And because, you know... You're naked"

She snapped on the cuffs and pushed him in to her tampon shaped car complete with string.

Just before Foxxy Cleopatra, started the car Michael Jackson ran down the street towards Yugi.

"Yugi honey! Don't you want to come at… I mean to my Neverland Ranch? We can cough take care of some business!"

"I may look like I'm twelve. BUT I FUCKEN AINT!!" screamed Yugi.

"Michael" began Foxxy "If you do not get back in jail, right now! I'll swear to god I'll cut it off. I WILL CUT IT OFF,"

Michael just chuckled, after all that surgery he didn't have anything (like frank and beans) for her to cut of. He caught sight of Mokuba and began to run off gaily (like happily, jesus people, get your minds OUT OF THE GUTTER!)

Then, bom bumb bom, The Kaiba Corp. helicopter flew down crushing M.J.

The door flung open and Kaiba yelled "Quickly Moki, before Shinniwawa comes to eat your babies!"

Mokuba quickly ran towards the chopper, but, oh shit, he forgot to duck and his head got clean sliced off by the blades.

"Shit, that's the third time this week" said Kaiba flying off.

Foxxy quickly started the motor and they drove off to jail. Yugi could barely contain his excitement; he had heard wonderful stories about dropping the soap in the shower.

* * *

Back at Karen's House (remember Karen Soho from the street..)

* * *

"Assistant!" she screamed, clicking her fingers angrily. "Bring me more cappuccino, bitch."

"Yesh mashster" hissed Erika, the hunchback dwarf from Pakistan.

* * *

Back in jail, with Yugi and the crew.

* * *

Yugi looked around the dark, damp Cell. His green & black spotted texture made him look like this crack whore Yugi once knew… his mother. 

"I will kill the world" proclaimed Cell, standing triumphantly.

"Shut your mouth, sugar" yelled Foxxy, momentarily looking up from her Playsheep magazine.

Cell sat down muttering "If I only had a brain.. do do do do do do."

The butch lesbian truck driver prison warden named Carmelita Plump-Daddy came along.

"Oi, bee-atches. You best be fucken getting you're white black asses to the lunchroom. We have a special performance from world famous singer/tryhard Avril Lavigne!" she shouted, clutching her second chakra vigorously.

They marched out of their cells, and down the corridor.

"The ants go marching one by one hurrah, hurrah," sang Yugi

"Shut the fuck up!" yelled another prison inmate, whose name was Jumba Mumba Pumba but Yugi did not know this.

The doors flung open and the teen bopping tunes of Avril Lavinge filled the area.

"He was a sk8ter boi. Bla bla etc etc im a hoe," Sang Avril

The prison guards were obviously using this as some kind of torture.

Avril caught sight of Yugi and leapt off the stage.

"Yug (moog OKAY)" she called out in her rabidly annoying Canadian drawl.

"Hey Avster" replied Yugi, for him and the Avril had spent several months in rehab together. Bloody heroin addicts.

"Hey Yugi, I have something to show you, come back to my cell!"

"You go here too?" Yugi queried

"Hell yes, they have the best sex here!" she replied wandering off in to the sweet blue yonder.

* * *

Several seconds later

* * *

"Wow Av (rhymes with pav). This place is bitchin'" said Yugi, reffering to the lovely surroundings of her cell.

"Yeah, whatever." She said, dismissing his compliment "Look what I have!" she said holding up a Pony, then she began to sing.

"Why'd you have to go and make this so complicated EYAYAHAYAY" she sung horrendously.

From behind Yugi heard a voice, it was distinctly Asian American.

"I told you to shut UP!"

Yugi turned around and saw the outrageously beautiful visage, of Lady Deathstrike. Her tight grey suit gleamed with the utmost care and appreciation.

Yugi's eyes shot to her hands, which were splayed in a starfish manner. With a calm metallic noise small silver blades spouted from each of her finger tips.

"This will teach you, bitch!" she screamed lunging at the bars separating the cells.

Like a hot knife through butter the blades cleanly sliced through the tough iron bars. Yugi darted his attention back to Avril.

"That whore ain't getting me that easily!" she said grabbing her pony by the hooves and launching it at Deathstike.

The large equine soared through the air with as much grace and poise as an old person retching up their intestines.

Yugi blinked.

He opened his eyes, and Avril was laying on the floor covered in pony innards and a small racoon poking out her anus.

"Shit, it was one of those you blink and you missed it moments," muttered Yugi.

He spun around to look at Lady Deathstrike, she was standing in a fighting stance. Her gaze snatched on to Yugi.

"You're going to die too ugly man whore!" the small, yet feisty, Asian woman screamed.

Yugi sidestepped as she thrust her clawed hands forward, narrowly missing.

"You forkin'(censored for the kids) skank!" he yelled, picking up Uma Thurman's sword that she used in Kill Bill™

He was about to strike when suddenly Uma Thurman appeared.

"Oi, gimme my sword back bitch!" Uma screamed.

Yugi shook his head and nodded towards the ready and waitng Deathstrike. But Ms. Thurman ignored him; she walked towards him and punched him in the face, reclaiming her sword.

"Fucken anime characters…" she muttered walking off in to the sunset.

He turned back to face Lady Deathstrike, but alas, she had gone!

"Oh well" shrugged Yugi and walked from the prison. He walked and walked and walked til he smacked right in to a pickle penis candle.

"Fuck I hate this dream!" Yugi screamed "Nothing has gone my way, everyone keeps dieing and I only made sweet, sweet love to Bakura once!!" he picked up a gun from the pocket hidden in his hair.

"I know the only sure fire way to end this dream!" he screamed.

He turned of the safety and as he squeezed on the trigger he saw all his friends running towards him, screaming. But it was too late.

He was dead. He didn't wake up.

* * *

Wow bet you didn't see that coming!! The next instalment will be even better, I wonder what will happen. VAOG - KS 


End file.
